supporting one another
i’ve been doing a lot of reflection this week around the notion of supporting creativity in others.
as a general rule of thumb, based on something I read ages ago, if i regularly feel worse after being around someone or in contact with them, i try and spend less with them in future or limit contact and that seems to have been a solid approach to limiting the impact of toxic behaviour in others for some time now.
conversely, if i like being around someone, i make sure to prioritise time with them as much as i can.
it seems obvious, but so many people don’t do it.
anyway, i was reflecting on if there were common behaviours amongst people i viewed as the most supportive of my creativity to see if i could learn anything from their approach. i haven’t talked about it with them, but i am sure i’ll go on a walk with them soon and i can dig deeper, but here’s what i think i know so far.
when they see me, they always ask about what i am doing creatively and listen to what i tell them and ask questions. they don’t tend to tell me about what they are doing creatively unless i ask (i mention this as i can see some people only ask you a question so they can tell you what they are doing / feeling etc). As it is, they seem comfortable promoting their creativity online etc, so often i have a fair idea what they are up to anyway. they are very much role models for me.
at a high level, they are immediately positive when i talk about anything i’m doing creatively. “that sounds great / very exciting / i can’t wait to see / hear that” etc etc so i feel safe and supported talking about it.
then, if i actually share stuff, they are also very positive. “this is great / this is brilliant / etc etc”.
now, i don’t know if they actually think that my stuff is objectively brilliant and aligned with their taste and they love to hear everything i do and i’m sure you could argue that all that’s happening is i am having my ego inflated. certainly in the past, i thought like that to a massive extent - i used to be massively uncomfortable with any positive feedback i did get, disregard it and play down / reject any compliments. i know i’m not alone in this. and, with these people being so relentlessly upbeat in their praise, you could argue it’s not ‘honest’ and it lacks value because it’s given out so liberally.
but this week, i’ve started looking at it differently.
being creative and sharing your art / music / writing / whatever, is hard and it takes bravery and energy and persistence and there are plenty of folks who are at best disinterested and at worst actively hostile to the idea of you enjoying yourself by expressing yourself. what you create often has to fight it’s way into existence against immeasurable odds. this means my friends are right, any act of creativity automatically gains the right to be considered “great” and “brilliant”. regardless of what anyone thinks of the quality of the output, the mere fact it exists at all is worth celebrating and it’s creator deserves a pat on the back.
you may not like the thing, i may not like the thing, the creator may not be happy with the thing, but it is created and is, at the very least, a stepping stone to the next creative thing. there will be others out there that creatives may look to for mentoring, advice and feedback, but that can be left to them. the rest of us can just be relentlessly positive and encouraging.
so i’ve started instituting this approach for myself as a conscious act. maybe i’ve done it a bit in the past, but now it’s an intentional act. celebration and support for all creativity. it’s simple, it makes me feel better and it makes them feel better and it encourages more art / music / whatever into the world.